FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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