you guys were way drunker than both of me
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
