Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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