I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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