help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
