took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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