What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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