He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you had me at cake vodka
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
