I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
