My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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