Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Mom said you looked used
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
