So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
