Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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