Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize