I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
