I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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