you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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