Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
