We won't sleep together?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
