spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
