He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
