i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
