I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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