Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
