called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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