im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
