I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
