I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
