Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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