but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
