I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
