dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
