i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
