i jhust puked up my retainher.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
