I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
