these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
