well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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