are you so shy because you have an std?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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