Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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