need another drink. this is the easiest way
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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