Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
