please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
