Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Text me some of your sweat
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
