i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Mom said you looked used
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
