I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
