I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
