when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
