since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
