Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
