Sponge bath it is.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
