Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
